New Kimberly Blog: Be the bigger person (05-02-09)

Be the bigger person.

Don’t let other people’s wrong doing or attitudes shape your life. Often we allow ourselves to be drug into the whirlwinds around us. We give power to others by allowing their actions or words to control our feelings. Get a hold of yourself by being aware of what’s going on around you and how it affects you. When you see or feel yourself slipping into reaction take steps to counteract it. Be aware enough to acknowledge what feelings you are slipping into and do the work within the situation to find the lesson. By doing the work at that moment we take back our own power.

First be aware of how your body reacts to your mind. Someone says something or gives you a look that we perceive as an attack. Your mind fills with dialogue of reactions. We tell the person and or the situation off in our minds. Phrases like, “I was only trying to help”, “what is wrong with you”, “you are so stupid”. Your body tenses and these choices create the whirlwind of your own perception. You join the spinning whirlwind of destruction until you acknowledge what is happening and take control.

Allowing moments to effect your days is silly in the grand scheme of life. You have interactions with people and the outcome of these interactions creates your character. If you leave the situation allowing it to constantly be on your mind and effect you then they win. Instead, know your worth. You are the queen of your world and you create your own reality. By making positive choice in the heat of an argument, gossip, or a misunderstanding you prevail. Thus allowing you to leave negative situations with positive reaction of choosing the lesson to never make the same choices as that person, understanding what you could have done to avoid the situation, or simply being proud of your choices in handling yourself.

Tell yourself to breathe. Often I breathe in and think or say out loud, “I breathe in the good”, then breathe out and say, “out with the bad.” I repeat this behavior and continually acknowledge the dialogue in my head and replace it with positive thoughts. Be your own mentor, your own best friend. Take negative thoughts like “I can’t stand this person”, and replace it with “I refuse to allow this person to ruin my day, I am better then this”.

Continue to breathe deeply and reflect on why your positive choice is the better reaction. Instead of giving into the fight, which many are searching for, don’t give them what they want. Stay calm through your breath and speak your truth. Always speak and react with compassion and love. You have the power to guide the interactions in your life. The work in loving life and loving yourself will show progress when you are able to handle yourself with calmness and understanding. Never place blame on others. Always speak from “I” and “My”. If you have something to say start with, “I understand you are angry, I’m sorry you feel this way” or “My intentions were never to hurt you”.

I always say, “When you point a finger, you have three fingers pointing back at you”. Life can get you down if you allow it. Be the winner in your own reality. When you give into conflict and negative thought you give into defeat. You are better then that and have a much bigger purpose in life. So be the bigger person and fight for the beautiful life you believe in. “Dream and Believe.”